Where do you want to go? Do you want to hit all the usual stops and stumble through a sea of shoppers and rubbernecking out of towners while I rattle off facts about the tallest structures that crowd the blue space above us? I can do that. Do you want to go down some bizarre basement in a shady ethnic neighborhood where all the other patrons look familiar in an America's Most Wanted sort of way? I can get you there.

Do you need a hand navigating a group of students through the busy streets of midtown at noon? No problem! I'm your all purpose tour guide, here to entertain, inform and make you feel a little less out of place in an overwhelming metropolis of mayhem.

My goal isn't to tell you everything I know about NYC, because that's really not what a tour guide should be going for. I actually want you to walk away remembering that you heard some truly crazy stories, ate way too much food, and the individual you were with was an insane ball of passion, information, and he is in love with his city in the best way possible.